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Why I’m grateful I charted before getting engaged
I’ve had plenty of couples come to me right before they were getting married (as in, some of those were 2-3 weeks before marriage), long before they started dating anyone, and everything in-between. My chart has been all across the spectrum of “abnormal” to “normal ish” back to “abnormal” again. Was that the fault of my charting? Nope. The fault of my Creighton practitioner? Absolutely not. Some of it is the ebb and flow of hormones changing, while others were from some medical complications. I am really grateful as I enter the six month engagement and all that entails that I have a good grasp on how to chart and what things mean - even in a season where abnormal is the name of my chart again.
Regardless of the reason for charting changes, most women do not tend to have the same looking chart throughout their lifespan. Stress (I’m looking at you, wedding planning), introduction of intercourse in marriage, hormone changes (everyone’s favorite), diet, exercise, inflammation, etc can be the cause of changes in a woman’s chart. So what’s an engaged woman (or any woman) supposed to do??
Here are some things I’ve learned along the way:
Lack of motivation and discouragement can settle in - especially when you are charting for specific reasons that seem to be unresolved. Having your spouse/fiancé chart for you can take away some of the stress and alleviate the burden. If you aren’t engaged, having a friend who keeps you accountable is helpful. I’ve found the app Habit to be immensely helpful in this area
What works in one season might not work in another - this applies to a lot of area of life. Season where you and/or your spouse are busy and what worked for connection worked better then than it does now. Focusing on the current season, while still acknowledge the past, celebrating or grieving unrealized expectations of desires, and having patience in the process are immensely important
Your fertility is important, however, your worth is not bound up by your ability to conceive - this point is important, albeit difficult to hear. It’s difficult struggling with infertility when you chart every day and are constantly reminded that the biomarkers that should indicate some sign of fertility aren’t there. Or, the medical issue that has been showing itself on your chart just won’t seem to go away. It’s important in moments like these - and many others - to take a step back. Grieving, acknowledging to yourself, your spouse, and to the Lord where you’re at and what you are feeling is essential. It is an important process that when skipped comes out in funny ways. Having to experience this in various patterns and forms makes my concerns about charting and marriage 100% easier to talk about with my fiancé because I’ve experienced the ups and downs and can communicate worries and fears. At the same time, even in anticipation of getting married, it’s important to recognize the truth that my worth is not bound up in my ability to conceive. It’s a hard realization, but a necessary and good one.
Even if you “missed the boat” for charting before you’re engaged, it’s not too late to reach out to a Creighton Practitioner and begin charting now!
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