Surrender with Purpose: How to Let Go of the Things You Can’t Control

A peaceful life requires a certain level of surrender because there are so many things outside of our control. This is especially true when navigating the vulnerability of a fertility journey. While there is so much we can take accountability for and actively do, there are many, many things we simply cannot control. Ultimately, across every area of life, we have authority over our own inputs, actions, and attitudes—but we cannot control the outcomes.

For the average person, this realization can feel disconcerting and anxiety-provoking. But as Christians, we know we aren't surrendering our lives to the ether. We can surrender everything to our Blessed Lord and His Mother. This is surrender with purpose. It is handing over all the things we cannot control to the One Who can do anything.

As a recovering Type-A, control-freak perfectionist, you can imagine that surrender does not come naturally to me. Whether it’s minor daily exercises in patience—like waiting rooms, heavy traffic, and long checkout lines—or life's heavy hitters, such as health outcomes or the gradual letting go that happens as my children grow up, my instinct is to hold on tight.

Enter the Surrender Novena. A friend gave me a little pamphlet with this prayer several years ago when I was walking through a frightening situation that I had absolutely no control over. It was completely plaguing my heart and mind. Praying those words over the course of nine days was not easy; the prompt to truly let go can be difficult to say out loud, but they are incredibly powerful. Since then, I have returned to this novena numerous times. It isn't tied to a specific feast day or liturgical season, meaning you can pray it whenever your heart needs it most.

To give you a little background, the words of this prayer were given by Jesus to the Servant of God, Don Dolindo Ruotolo. He was a contemporary and spiritual brother to St. Padre Pio—who openly recognized his holiness—and was deeply known for his personal sanctity and closeness to Christ. If you read a little about his life, you will see he certainly had a lot of things to surrender!

As a quick note, the title "Servant of God" is given to a man or woman of distinct holiness as the first step toward their canonization as a saint in the Catholic Church.

I hope this prayer can bring peace to your heart as you learn to surrender all things to the One Who has the power to do all things and loves you more than you could ever imagine. Surrender to Jesus is truly the ultimate antidote to anxiety.

Since we are talking about St. Padre Pio, I'll leave you with two of my favorite anti-anxiety quotes that both come from him:

"Pray, hope, and don't worry!"

"My past, O Lord, to your Mercy; my present, to your Love; my future, to your Providence!"

You can find the Surrender Novena here.