Wedding Night Tips

It’s wedding season! Summers are filled with many marriage celebrations followed by nights where faithful couples finally get to give their whole selves as a gift to each other through the beautiful covenant of marriage. A wedding night doesn’t need to feel like a scene from a movie — for most couples, it’s a mix of excitement, nerves, laughter, and the sweet relief of finally being alone together after a very big day. Instead of focusing on expectations or pressure, the heart of a great first night is connection: slowing down, checking in with each other, and creating a moment together. In this post, we’ll walk through gentle, realistic first‑night tips that help you feel comfortable, supported, and emotionally close — whether you’re energized, exhausted, or somewhere in between. Here are some wedding night tips to help you navigate such a special, holy moment:

1. For those charting with Creighton, cross off “C” on your instructions on the back of your chart – finally!!! 

   It is such an incredible and beautiful gift to have remained pure & chaste for your spouse, and YOU DID IT! Congratulations! Continue loving each other in a pure, holy, reverent way. 

2. Relax & keep it reverent

   Consummating your marriage is new & exciting, but can also be a bit nerve-racking. Be patient with each other and take as much time as you need. Try relaxing with a drink you both like (but not too much as this can inhibit orgasm), a nice ambiance (candles, soothing music, dimmed lights), showering/taking a warm bath/cuddling, praying together, and taking some time to wind down and re-cap & talk about the highs & lows of your special day. If you wrote letters for each other, read them to each other at this time. Start by loving each other in “SPICEy” ways. Be gentle with each other. Sacrifice for each other & love each other just as Christ did on the cross for us (“this is my body, given up for you”). Get each other to Heaven & make little Saints!

3. Use a lubricant & a towel

   Ladies – the first time having intercourse may be a bit painful, but take heart; remember that this is a sign that you saved the gift of your fertility & whole self for your husband! Congratulations! You made it through the long wait! Trust that the Lord will shower His graces upon you & bless you richly through the sacrifices you both made to be virgins on your wedding night. Nonetheless, to make your first (and subsequent) marital embraces more enjoyable, use a lubricant such as Pre-Seed, Uberlube, or Coconut Oil. Consider using body lotion/oil as well. You might want to place a towel under yourselves, as it can be a bit messy (there may even be a bit of blood as a result of the hymen tearing), but that’s okay! It doesn’t have to be perfect.

4. Communicate

   This is SO IMPORTANT!!! Discuss your fertility of the day and decide whether or not to select this day for intercourse. Not all couples have sex on their wedding night! Talk about expectations (and try not to set the bar too high – this is something you two get to learn and grow together in!).  Talk while you’re giving the gift of your full self to your spouse.  Share with your beloved what you love about them. If something hurts/is uncomfortable/awkward, tell them!

5. Perform SFI within 1 hour after intercourse

   The least exciting part of this process, but important so to be confident about your observations (and therefore, fertility of the day) the next day. 

If you are getting married, congratulations on your marriage! May the Lord bless you & your spouse richly. Know that prayers are being lifted up for you!