The First-Time Mom Learning Curve: What I Wish I'd Known Before Bringing Baby Home

My oh my, the learning curve is steep, and the joys (and sorrows) are aplenty. For those who don’t know, I recently (am I still allowed to call it that?) had a baby at the end of January. To be perfectly honest with you, I was so focused on pregnancy and labor + delivery that I really didn’t give much thought to when my baby actually arrived and how I would do things with her. Sure, I ordered the things, had some backs just in case, and you know I bought the cutest little baby swaddles that would look adorable on her (for the whole two weeks she let me swaddle her and yet still found myself paying an extra $3.99 on Amazon because yes, you guessed it, I still didn’t have everything I needed. Sound familiar at all? 

While I realize that every first time parent will make their own mistakes, hopefully you can learn from mine. 

1. Have someone to help out when you get home. Even if you think you don’t need it

When we got home from the hospital it was a whirlwind. For the 48+ hours, we were in her world it seemed. coming home to our familiar place, food, and environment truly was welcoming her home for the first time. But there’s a lot to get done. Feed baby, pump, wash all of the parts and bottles and such, and repeat (not everyone needs to pump. I did) and by the time you finish you feel like you’re doing it all over again. Not to mention you’re still wearing gigantic pads or a big diaper, likely still in pain and not really up for doing much outside of surviving (and if you’re surviving - congrats!! That’s the first step). You’d be surprised at how magical it is having someone think of what needs to get done and doing it without you having to worry, especially as a first time parents. I’m looking at you, laundry, dishes, more laundry (because, baby), bottles, food, etc. And having friends or family make runs to the store when you inevitably need them. We had 3 options lined up to help and all fell through. I was REALLY not doing well when we got home, and help the first few days would have been incredible. Thankfully my sister in law came a few days later to help us out. 

1. Take your laxatives and stool softeners ASAP if they aren’t offered in your hospital. You can thank me later. And if you forget these, have a very kind, non judgmental person get you an enema from the store. Don’t ask me how I know. 

2. Especially if you have a vaginal birth, having something to cool and heal down there may be a game changer for you. There are a lot of things to buy and I know it adds up. Getting things healed down there will help immensely- after all, whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, combo feeding and everything between: you will be getting up and down and will want to be able to move without crazy pain. Things to get would be: sitz bath (and whatever herbal thing you can have with it), dermaplast and/or with hazel, pads or underwear that you feel comfortable in. 

3. Have your spouse, Mom, friend, etc at your follow up appointments. If you’re anything like me you will remember next to 0 of what they said. Let alone be able to get up and down comfortably to change baby, etc. 

4. Get help for post partum depression. Even if it comes on day 3 and you’re in denial it’s happening. Otherwise you’ll be calling your best friend in the night with hysteria. But seriously, you aren’t alone in this and napro docs can and will help you! It is amazing the difference of PPD and not. 

5. And finally, get a good lactation consultant. Our very own Dr. Kat Stenlund and Trinity Breastfeeding Medicine saved me. Below are some recommendations given to me:

Lactation Consultant recommendations: please remember that these were recommendations given by my IBCLC. Please be sure to reach out to one yourself! 

Clogged Ducts - I’m not sure how common or not common these are. This is like a hard lump in your breasts or the breast itself being rock solid. Some remedies are: 

-ICE. seriously. Ice the heck out of it. Lactation consultants seem to recommend frozen veggies or peas across the board for this for this, not the cute ice packs you probably got for postpartum. The days of recommending heat are over. Ice for at least 20 minutes

-sunflower lecithin: I personally take the ones from Legendairy. The science is a little unknown, but it can tend to help loosen the milk and let it flow so you can have relief

Sore nipples: 

-Earth Mama nipple cream as well as lanolin worked for me. Most people will do better with one or the other. So I’d get both!

Bottles:

Yes, a highly contested (and sometimes sensitive!) topic. I’m in the “it’s better to have and not need/use then needing and not having” type of person, even if you plan on never giving formula or pumping. I was recommended using Dr. Browns bottles because of the shape and my baby’s proclivity to trapped gas. Thankfully I had some but my glass ones sat on the shelf and become my milk storage containers. Trust me, even a crunchy granola person like me was grateful for the plastic bottles because the difference between a happy baby and a steaming baby because of trapped gas/air bubbles is astonishing. 

First time moms (or any Moms) - I see you. You aren’t alone, you are loved. It is tough. It’s important to remember in this time that it doesn’t last forever. You can always reach out to us personally, friends, Mom friends, and others because you are not meant to do this on your own.