• Anna Murphy

Addendum to Myth: NFP is just Kittens and Rainbows all the time



The other week, Jenny wrote that:

"I hear so often that something is “not what I expected". There is frustration and sadness that come along with it. The disconnect between what we thought would happen and what actually happened can be stressful" and in particular can happen with the use of any method, with no exclusion to the Creighton Model System.

So how does one approach their charting and/or intentions with using the Creighton Model System, lest they fall into temptation to "abandon all hope, all ye who enter here" (taken from Dante's Inferno)

First, it is important to know where you're going. Sometimes you discover that along the way, other times you recognize and know what you want from the start. "Begin with the end in mind" as they say.

Second, recognize that even with the end in mind, there might be problems or unexpected obstacles that seem to be an issue to the goal or end that you have in mind. Have patience, and a willingness to slow down and learn where it is needed. Oftentimes, slowing down and learning solidifies whatever the treatment or solution is. As Jenny mentioned, clients have come to us with continuous mucus with the expectation that we can fix it (which is one of the things that we're here to assist with!)! However, their hope and expectation might lead them to be disappointed if they're hoping to have this issue completely resolved by the end of the first cycle. The end, or the goal, in mind is great. I have had couples with continuous mucus only to be frustrated when it takes time to learn. Those same couples, however, after taking the time to learn, were not only able to distinguish fertile mucus from their "essential sameness pattern," (more Creighton language) but realized that in learning would be able to more seamlessly discern cervical mucus patterns vs. not fertile mucus postpartum should they decide to later achieve a pregnancy (which they are able to use to this day).

Third: Know what your priorities are. This comes in handy especially when the problems being faced seem multifaceted. You might be struggling financially, and your goal might be to achieve a pregnancy. The options that you look into might look differently if your priority is achieving pregnancy as quickly as possible as opposed to achieving a pregnancy with the most cost effective route, even if the timing takes longer.

Fourth: have hope. This one can seem the most difficult when our expectations don't align with the reality that we're facing. You can't just "get hope" anywhere. It comes from the belief and recognition that there is something good, even if extremely difficult, that God will bring through these difficulties, and a greater good than you can see currently. There is hope for the goodness of the future, even if it end up looking different than you had originally hoped for.

Fifth: Recognize that it's okay to acknowledge that what you're feeling and experiencing doesn't match up to what your expectations are; find friends and others to support and love you during the process. Whether that looks like a weekly zoom check in, coffee with a friend, regular check ins with your Creighton Practitioner, sharing your feelings with your spouse, etc., it's important to remember that you are not alone. Reach out to one of our Creighton practitioners to see how we can help you navigate the joys, difficulties, and even disappointments of fertility and cycles today.

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