When Faith Is Misunderstood: Why NFP Isn’t Idolatry

Recently, a video has been circulating on Facebook claiming that Natural Family Planning (NFP), including the Creighton Model, is a form of idolatry. Did I want to link the video here and put it on blast, yes, yes I did! But that is not the point. The point is there is some BIG misinformation going around and I feel very strongly about addressing it.

The woman in the video uses the story of Onan from the book of Genesis as her “proof,” saying that NFP is essentially a way of controlling fertility and therefore rejecting God’s will...*appalled look on my face*

I’ve watched it a few times now, and honestly, my heart aches each time. Not out of anger (maybe a little), but out of sadness, shock, confusion, and more sadness. Because I know how many people will hear that message, will see this video. I have read ALL of the comments. I have even watched a follow up video she posted. And I feel like so many of them will experience shame for something that is actually rooted in faith.

As a FertilityCare Practitioner, I walk with women and couples who are trying to understand the beauty and design of their bodies. Many are struggling with infertility, PCOS, hormonal imbalances, or difficult health journeys. Many are deeply faithful and simply trying to cooperate with God’s will in a way that honors both the gift of life and the real circumstances of their lives.

So when I hear someone call NFP idolatry, I can’t stay silent, I will not stay silent. Because that message misses the heart of what NFP is... and Who it’s ultimately about.

Understanding the Story of Onan

Let’s start with the story itself.

In Genesis 38, Onan is asked to fulfill his duty under the law of levirate marriage — to marry his deceased brother’s widow, Tamar, and father a child who would continue his brother’s lineage. But Onan didn’t want that responsibility. He wanted the pleasure of the act without its purpose. Scripture says:

“But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his seed on the ground to avoid producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so He put him to death also.” (Genesis 38:9–10)

Onan’s sin wasn’t that he understood fertility, it was that he rejected God’s design for it. He used the marital act while intentionally denying its life-giving purpose. He disobeyed God, acted selfishly, and refused his duty to both his family and to God.

To compare Onan’s disobedience with a couple prayerfully discerning their family size through NFP is a complete misunderstanding of the passage. Onan’s act was rooted in selfishness and rebellion. NFP, when lived rightly, is rooted in prayer and cooperation. Those two approaches come from entirely different motivations.

What Idolatry Really Means

Before we label something as idolatry, it’s important to understand what that word truly means.

Idolatry happens when we make something other than God our ultimate source of security or meaning, when we place our trust in something we can control instead of in Him. That could be money, success, our own plans, or even our fears.

So let’s look honestly at NFP...

When practiced with the right intention, NFP doesn’t reject God, it invites Him in!! It’s a system built on discernment, communication, and trust. It’s not about saying “no” to God; it’s about asking, “Lord, what are You calling us to right now?”

If a couple prayerfully decides to postpone pregnancy due to health, finances, emotional readiness, or other serious reasons, that is not idolatry, that’s responsible parenthood, a concept deeply affirmed by the Church.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2368) says it beautifully:

“For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. They should take into account both their own welfare and that of their children already born or yet to come. This decision must be made with generosity and prudence.”

That is the heart of NFP, generosity and prudence, not control or fear.

Cooperation, Not Control

The difference between contraception and NFP is subtle yet profound.

Contraception seeks to block fertility; NFP seeks to understand it.

Contraception separates love from life; NFP integrates the two, allowing couples to work with God’s design rather than against it.

NFP recognizes that fertility is not a flaw to be managed but a gift to be understood. It gives couples the knowledge to honor that gift, whether they are seeking to achieve or postpone pregnancy. All while remaining open to God’s will.

That’s not idolatry. That’s humility.

It takes humility to learn your body.

It takes humility to abstain during fertile times when you desire intimacy.

It takes humility to surrender your plans and say, “God, not our will, but Yours.”

Those who call NFP idolatry often confuse discernment with control. But they are not the same thing. Discernment asks God for direction; control tries to take His place. True NFP users aren’t playing God they’re walking with Him.

What’s Really at the Heart

I think sometimes the discomfort people have with NFP isn’t really about fertility charts or timing, it’s about the tension between faith and freedom. We all wrestle with wanting to trust God and still feeling responsible for the lives we’re building.

But that tension isn’t sin. It’s called being human.

And NFP meets us right there, in that middle ground where faith meets reality. It asks couples to live with eyes open, to make decisions prayerfully, and to stay in communication not just with each other, but with God.

That’s not idolatry. That’s discipleship.

A Final Word

If we’re going to call something “idolatry,” let’s be clear about what we mean. Idolatry is worshiping ourselves instead of God. It’s using His gifts for our own ends, detached from His will.

That’s exactly what Onan did.

It’s not what NFP does.

Natural Family Planning...when lived with prayer, humility, and openness, is one of the most profound ways a couple can honor God with their marriage. It requires faith. It requires communication. It requires surrender. It requires trust.

And all of that is the opposite of idolatry.

So to anyone who has seen that video and felt confused or even condemned... please don’t let one person’s misunderstanding distort the truth. NFP isn’t about rejecting God. It’s about learning to listen to Him more deeply, even in the most intimate parts of our lives.

Because when we understand our fertility, we aren’t worshiping it

we’re worshiping the One who created it!!

From My Heart

As a Creighton Model FertilityCare Practitioner, I’ve seen firsthand how understanding fertility can transform marriages, heal bodies, and deepen faith. In times even bring people back to the faith. I’ve watched women find answers to long-ignored health problems, couples discover a new level of communication, and families grow in peace, whether that meant welcoming a new baby or finding healing in the wait.

The truth is, NFP isn’t about idolatry. It’s about intimacy...with your spouse, your body, and with God. It’s about inviting Him into the conversation, trusting that His timing, His design, and His love are perfect. Always and forever perfect.

And that’s something I feel is worth defending: gently, faithfully, and without apology.