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  • Writer's pictureAnna Murphy, FCP

The virtue of waiting

Updated: Apr 18, 2023

When it comes to waiting, there are very few things that compare to what can be the agony and anxiety induced by waiting. Having some end or goal in mind, but are unsure of how this will look. We have "smaller" times of waiting, like waking up in the morning and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing (which can feel like an eternity), the seeming forever wait while you're making your baby's bottle and your baby is screaming like they haven't eaten in hours, to waiting for Disney to answer their phone to find out if you can purchase a ticket for the next available day (this did actually occur very recently).

These are "smaller," more commonplace sufferings that can occur on a day to day basis (okay, maybe Disney is a stretch on the "daily" part of the sentence). The fact still stands that we all face periods of waiting. And I'd guess that less than a handful of people would say that they actually enjoy the waiting.

Why is waiting so difficult? This is a blog so I'll limit my response to two reasons.

  1. Most of the time while we're in times of waiting, there is little to nothing that we can do. Maybe you've exhausted all available possibilities, or options are not made available that would under other or "normal" circumstances.

  2. During the time of waiting, often at the other end of what is desired is good.

When it comes to fertility, intercourse, and cycles the waiting becomes more intense, more difficult, and scan downright feel agonizing at times. I've spoken with many clients who share this experience. Clients who have had prolonged periods of abstinence due to confusing charts who are waiting on answers to avoid a pregnancy and be able to have intercourse again. Clients who have suffered infertility who are eagerly awaiting to find out what their source of suffering is to be able to achieve a pregnancy. Clients who are single and are dating, waiting to find the man they will marry. There is a real beauty in the suffering, however, the immense pain and agony in the waiting can be heartbreaking or devastating.

In a recent conversation, a friend of mine said:

"The waiting may break you. It will chisel you down and and show you parts of yourself you didn't know were there. It'll reveal who you really are."

These words have stuck with me because they do summarize a lot of what waiting for very personal matters can feel like.

So what if you're in this time?

  1. Find out what you can reasonably do. If you are suffering with infertility, consider contacting a Creighton Practitioner to find out what Creighton can do for you or schedule an introductory session. If there's another thing that you're waiting for, find out what is in your ability to do something about. Napro doctors are also very helpful for the waiting.

  2. Find little ways to care for yourself that take the ease of the agony of waiting. Maybe that looks like going to your favorite coffee shop, making sure you are getting sleep, taking your vitamins, going to the chapel to pray, putting whipped cream in your coffee, cleaning the dishes before going to bed so you can have peace of mind.

  3. Support - find friends who can be there and support you. This doesn't necessarily entail talking in depth about the situation (though maybe choose a couple of people who do know) but that can be around while you're in the .

  4. Pray - God knows your story. He knows and sees the situation you're in. Not from a distance, but with you in the waiting.

  5. Surrender - if you've done what you can, you can surrender your heart and your plans to the Lord because He knows and will be there with you.

There is good for you and planned for you.

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