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  • Writer's pictureKaroline Heldt, CFCP

Sexual Freedom

Updated: Feb 28

One complaint that sometimes comes up about using Creighton Model (CrMS) is the constraints that some couples feel it places on their times available for intercourse. Indeed, if you are using any natural method of fertility regulation (like CrMS) and your desire is to avoid pregnancy, there will be times unavailable to you for intercourse. Sometimes a couple will posit that if they were contracepting, sex could be more "spontaneous".

Sexual spontaneity is an interesting “positive aspect” to ascribe to contraceptive use. Spontaneity is a culturally ingrained goal for sex. It’s been totally idolized by the entertainment industry and without a doubt this influences our culture. I would like to propose an alternative thought: in real life, is spontaneity truly the primary goal of sexual activity? Can spontaneity by definition ever be truly mutual? If it’s not mutual, who exactly is being served by “spontaneity”? Are we using “spontaneity” as a prettier term for sex-on-demand? Spontaneity is the rally-cry of the Playboy mentality and a genito-centric view of human sexuality.

That being said, any natural means of fertility regulation is not easy. It requires sacrifice. It requires growth in virtue. It requires growth and perseverance in your relationship with your spouse and with God. There are countless couples faithfully practicing CrMS and making tremendous sacrifices to do so. Periodic avoidance of intercourse is certainly considered a negative in our culture but in fact, if properly and maturely approached, can be a building block for strong relationships, strong marriages and strong families.

God has given us our intellect and our ability to understand our body and how it functions. Using this information and growing in our understanding of our fertility has the potential to bring us closer to God and grow in appreciation of His goodness. When your human sexuality is fulfilled to it’s highest potential, that leads to maximum happiness and maximum satisfaction. And I’m talking about fulfillment and satisfaction on every level – spiritual, physical, creative, intellectual, emotional. Suddenly, sex isn’t just sex anymore. It’s a profound and exclusive expression of a lifetime love and commitment. That is something worth having. It’s something worth striving for and sacrificing for. And failing and trying again for.

This beautiful quote from one of our CrMS textbooks truly says it best:

“True sexual freedom cannot exist within an environment where a woman or a man is unable to say both ‘yes and no’. When there is only one response to a question … and that response is always yes, then there can be, by definition, no freedom and no choice. It is within this context that work on the development of services for the natural regulation of human fertility is so important. It allows human couples to place into perspective and balance a view of their human sexuality. It allows for them to have a respect for each other, for what they do, and for what they create. It is only within the context of that respect for the value and dignity of each individual human person, born and unborn, that true sexual freedom can grow and develop. That respect has an opportunity to flourish if the shroud of mystery can be removed from a better understanding of our human fertility.” (The Creighton Model FertilityCare System: Hilgers, et al, 2017)

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