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"Just a chemical pregnancy", is what the Physician said. This is the same doctor who answers your question about a faint line on the test by saying it's not possible to be a little bit pregnant. They reassure you what you had wasn’t a pregnancy but a chemical pregnancy. A chemical pregnancy? What does that even mean? Was my positive pregnancy test not real? Were the changes in my body and the nausea all in my head? Was the unexplained craving for steamed broccoli not real? But they were, I know, because I felt them.
If you have ever felt confused by this, you are not alone. Many women go through this. I have heard it said, 1 in 5 pregnancies result in a miscarriage before they are even known to be pregnancies. How this number was reached, I have no idea. By definition, an unknown pregnancy should not be able to be defined by statistics. In the Catholic faith we believe, when the sperm meet the ovum a new life is formed, a baby. This would mean a real pregnancy. When this pregnancy is lost, we as a new mom have the right to mourn over our child.
There are a lot of reasons the medical community labels certain miscarriages the way they do. One reason, is for insurance and billing purposes. Small comfort when facing the loss of a life. They may have tried to make it sound less hurtful and soften the blow by rationalizing this was "not a real pregnancy". I find when this happens some physicians have a hard time being comforting. As lay people do we really need to know the medical definition? This doesn’t mean they are all wrong, just they are using and recommending a coping mechanism, which can work for some, but not for all.
With the Creighton Model there is a more holistic approach to miscarriages, we don’t minimize your loss but we approach you as a whole person. We see you cry, we see you mourn, we hurt for you and cry with you for your loss. Your practitioner is here for you and wants to help you heal and point you in the right direction to get more help. It is okay to feel sad, to grieve the loss of an unnamed, barely knowing the life which was forming in your body. There is nothing wrong with feeling and acknowledging the loss you experienced. We at Groesbeck Fertility Care Center are praying for you and your baby will not be forgotten, no matter how many weeks old. Your baby is precious in the eyes of our Lord!
If you or a loved one are experiencing a loss due to miscarriage and are having difficulty emotionally and mentally, please reach out to a mental professional for the help you need. Feel free to contact one of our practitioners for a referral.
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