Trying to “Whatever”: Unsure of Pregnancy Intentions

Every Creighton Practitioner sees clients with a whole variety of reasons that they’re coming to Creighton. Some wanting to achieve pregnancy, others struggling with infertility for years, and the list goes on. At the end of every follow up (or sometimes before if it merits it), your Creighton Practitioner will ask “Would you say you are using the system (the Creighton Model System) to achieve a pregnancy, avoid a pregnancy, or to monitor fertility?” Let me break some of the terminology down and what I assume most people hear when I or others ask these questions.

Let’s start with the first question: “Would you say that you are using the Creighton Model System to achieve a pregnancy?” This one is pretty simple in its asking, but can be highly misunderstood in practice of it. What we’re asking, really, is are you using days of fertility for intercourse. If the answer is yes, then we would say that you are using the Creighton Model System to achieve a pregnancy. If the answer is no, then you are either abstaining from intercourse (and likely using Creighton to appreciate and take care of your fertility) or using the system to avoid a pregnancy altogether.

This is different from what I believe a lot of couples hear when we ask this question. What I believe most people hear in this question is: “Would you say that you are actively selecting days of fertility and trying to have a kid right now?” The difference between the actual question being asked and they way it can be understood does not lie in the outcome one may desire (to have children or not have children) but in the reality of the days they select for intercourse. So, if a couple decides to have intercourse on a day of fertility, they would be choosing to use the Creighton Model System to achieve a pregnancy because likely intercourse charted on days of fertility will result in a pregnancy.

This question merits a larger question of intention (or can be thought of to be an interior commitment or decision), vs actions put into practice. For example, I might intend on eating really healthy, workout every day, and never eat carbs (I don’t subscribe to the last one, but it’s an example). In reality, I might eat really healthy on days when my schedule isn’t chaotic, in reality only workout 3-5 days a week, and refrain from all grains but eat gluten free Mac and cheese  on days when I haven’t meal planned and can’t have meat (true story). So the reality, what I am actually doing, is mostly eating healthy, working out consistently but maybe not every day, and avoiding all grains but cheat on having carbs. Notice the difference? Interiorly I have made a commitment while my actions don’t align to said “intention.” In using the Creighton Model System, you might make an interior commitment to have intercourse on days that make sense to you and your spouse regardless of the sign of fertility of the day. The reality is, especially with a lovely thing called “pheromones” (which can make the person more attractive when they are released) you are likely to select days fertility for intercourse, which we would expect to result in pregnancy. So, if you find yourself “trying to ‘whatever’” know that the reality (which is great if this is what you and your spouse have discerned together is best for your marriage and your family) is that a pregnancy will likely be the result of selecting days of fertility.

Not sure of your pregnancy intentions? Talk with one of our Creighton practitioners!