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  • Writer's pictureDaria Bailey, CFCP

Secondary Infertility and the Psychological Impacts

Updated: Feb 28

In my previous post I talked about infertility and the psychological impact it has on women and couples. Truly it can feel like you are climbing the highest mountain and it is such a journey to get to the top. Psychologically you are feeling the ups and the downs, the anger, the confusion and frustration, as well as filled with so much hope for your future family. Your mind and heart experience a lot on the battle field of infertility.

Today I would like to touch on another "war" women and couples seem to be fighting, Secondary Infertility. While the CrMS defines infertility as, "when using the CrMS, we would define a couple infertile when they have unsuccessfully achieved a pregnancy after 6 months intentionally trying or 12 months being open to pregnancy."

Secondary infertility is slightly different whereas it is defined as, "secondary infertility is the inability to become pregnant or to carry a baby to term after previously giving birth to a baby."

I am someone who has fought the fight with secondary infertility, physically and emotionally.

We were blessed with two beautiful children very early on in our marriage...they are 15 months apart! We took sometime to settle into a family of 4 and pour into our beautiful kiddos. Plus I had 2 c-sections to bring our babies into this world and momma's body needed a break!

When my youngest was a little over a year we wanted to expand our family. This is where the mental war began for me. It was so easy to get pregnant the first two times, why would it be any different the third time around? Well in fact and to be was very difficult the third time around.

In other posts we have talked about hormones, thyroid, diet, and NaPro Technology, etc. These were things I was totally unaware of and did not even realize I needed when it came to my reproductive system. After months of trying, while ignoring the hormonal signs that something was wrong we finally became pregnant. But that pregnancy and the next two pregnancies sadly did not come to fruition.

To say our hearts were shattered is an understatement. I went through all the thoughts and experienced all the emotions,

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Could I have done something different?"

"What is wrong with me?"

"Is my body broken?"

"Will I never have kids again?"

The psychological roller coaster you go through when it comes to primary and secondary infertility, is not a ride you ever want to get back on. But there can be hope at the end of the madness. When you are experiencing secondary infertility there is solace in that your body has in fact done this before. Now it is a matter of trying to work out what is no longer working.

Working with a practitioner and reviewing old charts can be very helpful. What did your cycle look like when you did conceive and have a baby? What does your chart look like now when you are having a hard time? Also, going to see a NaPro trained doctor to evaluate your body and hormones can bring some answers to your situation. Our bodies change physically and chemically after we have babies, so it is not unfair to say something can be off.

Although this issue is not talked about or very well known, a good percentage of women carry this cross. It can take a time and patience to figure out the root of your heart ache, but there is hope. If you or a loved one is struggling with any form of infertility and do not know where to turn, feel free to contact one of the practitioners at Groesbeck. We are here to walk along side you in this journey.

When I needed some relief, something to hold onto, this song really got me through my hardest moments. I hope it brings, whoever needs it, some relief as well.

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